Sanji Haak

Wow. I can't tell you how deeply this struck me. One second they are headed for the river, the next -blam!- everyone's favorite Middle Eastern scientist is dead in the water. WHY SCOTT? WHY?!

Chelsea Jewell

This one left me ecstatic. I was so afraid that Perry was going to the "dark side" that when he shot her in the face I jumped up and ran in circles screaming. No joke.

Perry Dawsey

I can't think of a better way to send out one of the greatest characters ever. Perry, I salute you.

Bill Miller

Ah, Bill. Of course, because you spam Perry's email and his answering machine, and even taped a note to his door, you must be a Soldier. So Perry kindly took you in with a knife to the thigh, and then "steaked" you to the wall. You screamed and bled and finally died while Perry seemed to scream at himself. R.I.P. (Honestly though, if I hadn't been for Perry and Chels, this one would be right behind good ol' Sanj.)

Savior

Scott, you hit me deep with this one. Brian's in trouble, and it's Ericson to the rescue until- whoops!- he slips a puddle of blood. His legs stuck, and from there it's short work for First Born. A definite "WHY?" moment.

Magnus Paglione

Loved this one; very bloody. While P.J. and Co. escape, Magnus gets some freaking huge-ass incisors through his temple. Woohoo!

Sean Robertson

Dude, how cool is it to have your head sliced off, and in the last second before you die, watch a horde of mutant children devour your body? Pretty frickin cool.

Jack Zou

This one cost me eight hours of peaceful sleep. I was all cozy and everything, and then Scott does the whole wolf shaking/man screaming sound effect thing, and scared the piss out of me. Thanks a lot.

Mitchell Fayed

A sad death. After 13 years in tier 2, Mitchell "The Machine" Fayed kicks the bucket only a few games before the championship. :(

Ancillary Characters

I couldn't pin down my final entry, so I went with every ancillary character (and some non-ancillary) Scott's snuffed in his books. Including but not limited to: Roberta Deprovdechuk (chainsawed), The Mexican (see Sean Robertson), Tony "Four Balls", Mack Hendricks, Claus Rhumkorrf, the crew of the C-5, Gunther Jones and Brady Giovani, "Fatty Patty", The BoyCo Gang members, Robin Hudson, Stone Mason (yes, that's his real name), The Russian and Italian mobsters, The King, Infection victims, and PERRY'S BALLS!